Why you don't quit
I’m reading a Michael Crichton book called “Travels”. I’ve been reading this book now for over a month now. Yes, I am a slow reader. More than a slow reader, I think that I suffer from spreading myself out too thin by trying to read several books at a time, dedicating only short bursts of time to each one. I guess this could be looked at as somewhat of a multitasking ability. I do this in so many areas of my life. I’ll take on several projects at once and slowly and surely push and pull each one making minute progress along the way. Doing things like this can be discouraging at times because I don’t see the progress quick enough but I still keep pushing. And, I almost always follow through until the goal is met, the task is completed. I think that may be one of my strengths. I don’t give up easily. I may take my time but I reach my goal. That’s what I do.
Getting back to the book…Patricia Perrone, a professor at Scad, gave me Travels. For whatever her reasoning she felt this book was one I should read and just gave it to me. Thank you, Pat! I am enjoying the book. I am certainly relating to some of Michael Crichton’s experiences and the way he approached certain things in his life. His experience of trekking up Kilimanjaro reminds me greatly of my experience climbing Long’s Peak in 2007 and running the Boulder 100 in 2008. I feel like my combined experience of climbing Long’s Peak and running the Boulder 100 was like Crichton’s Kili experience.
At mile 95 or 96
During the Boulder 100 when I reached the 63 mile mark I wanted to quit so badly. Every part of my body hurt. My brain screamed “Why are you doing this?”. My body and mind wanted to shut down. It was a “No Mas” moment. Thank God for people like April Mitchell and Cindy Randi the people that never ever quit. April called me and encouraged me to go on. It was April’s spirited voice that got me out of the aid station and back into the cold dark night with 37 more miles to cover. It was in that cold, dark Boulder night that I understood that there was no way that I could quit. I could never go home without achieving what I said that I would. April was right. Cindy Randi, God bless her, had two choices – to fight or to quit -to quit for her, though, was to die. Cindy had fought cancer for the third time. Just thinking that about Cindy made me go through to the end.
Going after Long’s Peak was pretty grueling at times but what was the worse thing of all was the night that I spent at the boulder fields. That night I could hardly sleep because my head hurt so much. And, there was nothing I could do to get rid of that headache. At 5 am we began our ascent to the top of Long’s Peak (14,255 feet). By the time I reached the keyhole I did not have a headache. I teamed up with two locals and we quickly worked our way to the top. I was the sixth person on the summit that day. I was glad that we sped our up because coming back down we saw a long stream of people working their way up bottle-necking along the way.
On Long's Peak
Why am I bringing this stuff up? If you have read what I’ve pointed out on page 164 of “Travels” you’ll know that Crichton’s girlfriend says to him “Let’s go back. We’ll tell everyone we climbed it. Who will know? It won’t matter. Nobody will ever know.” Crichton says, “All I can think is: I’ll know.”
He goes on to talk about not believing in quitting and how quitting can become contagious in every area of your life – and, I agree! But, what hits me the most about what Crichton said at that moment is, “What I believe is, I’ll know. I feel trapped by an inner honesty I didn’t know I had”. That gripped me so much.
You know, when you are in the darkest moment and, to get to the end, -to complete your task seems so far away…its almost like an unattainable dream. You try so hard but it slips through your fingers and vanishes in the night. You try to tell yourself that ‘hey, I’ve made it farther than most would have gone’ and hope that lie will satisfy your inner being but, of course, it will not. It will not if you are truly honest with yourself. And, if there is one thing that I am it is that I am very honest with myself. I don’t sugar-coat the truth with half-lies. At the end, it doesn’t matter what the world thinks about me but it does matter to me how I view myself. Quitting is not in my character. Some may say, ‘Dan, you did your best and you should feel proud’. I don’t. I really am an all or nothing kind of guy.
100 miles in 24 hours, 12 minutes - totally exhausted but happy
When I flew to Colorado in 2008 to run the Boulder 100 it was to run 100 miles in less than 30 hours. My goal was 24 hours but I was willing to accept under 30. The key, though, was that I would complete my task and reach my goal. The same with Climbing Long’s Peak. The night prior to the climb I had the very worst headache I ever remember having but I came to climb a mountain and that’s what I did.
This past Saturday, on a much smaller scale I set out to run the Tybee Island 1/2 marathon in under two hours using my vibram 5 fingers. Several people thought I was nuts, my boss was one of those, I believe. As I ran the race about a dozen people approached me about the shoes. It was friendly and cordial quick conversations. One group of men, though, I overheard as I passed them. It was three or four men probably ranging in ages between 35 and 45. One mentioned my shoes. One of the other men remarked (and I quote verbatim) “I guarantee you that he will drop out by mile 5″. They may have thought that I did not hear them because I had headphones on but my music was on low. I like my music low like elevator music (background music). So, I heard it very clearly and thought, they just don’t know who they’re talking about. I don’t quit. My feet were very uncomfortable by the time I reached the 9 mile mark but I’ve experienced worse and, most importantly, I came out to run a half marathon with my vibram 5 fingers. And, that’s what I was going to do.
And, that’s what I did.
Reading page 164 from Michael Crichton’s book, “Travels” obviously touched a nerve and I felt compelled to share that with you -who ever you may be that stumbles upon my blog and decides to read this. For you, that have gotten this far on my blog, I salute you and I thank you whole-heartedly for discarding a little bit of your time to read what some dude in Savannah, Georgia has to say about quitting and achieving and what-ever else. Thanks.
And, I’ll end with this…next year with the money that I get from my Scad sabbatical I intend to fly to Tanzania and climb Kilimanjaro. And believe me, I will take with me the same attitude and resolve that I have for every other adventure and goal I’ve undertaken. To the roof of Africa is where I’m heading. And, I will not stop until I make it to the top.
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog.
All the very best,
peace,
dh
02/07/2010